It’s hard to talk about my work because there’s so much I want to say and have to be very careful! But so much is worth talking about, in my opinion. Because it is all of life. Life we don’t always see or think about daily.

I seriously can’t believe I get paid for this job. It’s been good for me in ways that are too numerous to count. It allows me to feel. It allows me to express and help.

But here’s my story. For today.

I walk the halls, looking into the rooms.

This is all they have.

These rooms that they did not choose.

I distribute meals, talk for bit and as I exit, often tears well up and sometimes praise, at times, it’s simultaneously.

The loneliness that these people feel is obvious and overwhelming and the lives they’ve lived, when you hear their stories, is mind blowing.

One precious soul just entered the presence of Jesus. She had been widowed not once, but twice, before the age of 47. The joy of knowing she was finally free of all pain was more than I could handle.

Others, having had a love of their life removed permanently, sitting in their rooms, the only interaction being a housekeeper, a nurse tech or a meal being brought, is a depth of pain I can only imagine.

Another room, I glance through, while briskly walking past to my next agenda, (because thankfully the doors can be opened now) and instinctively I was a little shocked, at first thinking something scary was happening, only to realize that it was a family member standing directly outside her window dressed in winter garb that covered her identity. Unbeknownst to me as I entered, I realized that they were talking on the phone, looking at each other laughing and with glorious smiles.

These people have already changed me.

They’ve made me want to make my life matter and live it to the fullest. Not in the sense of self-accomplishing meaningless trophy’s to put on my shelf or even a lonely life, seemingly mundane or with ease.

I want a life full of love, full of people and full of stories.

When I’m brutally honest I hope it is unbelievably difficult intertwined with miraculous simple stories; stories that I can tell to people that will listen and gain from, to keep the red thread of humanity connected.

As much as I’m afraid to say this, gimme what you got Lord. Use me and fill my life with all that is Your purposes. Someday I will likely be sitting in one of these rooms; a room I will not choose.

I can see how desperately important it is that their stories matter. That they continue to matter to someone, to anyone. If I know anything, all our stories matter and have a purpose, whether we are 21 or 81 but ultimately, and only because they matter to Him.

Love those that have gone before. Value their wisdom and presence and at the least, learn something from them for your own life.

Live for love, live for connection: experiences that ignite the soul, sometimes difficult and even at a cost, every so often, but this will most certainly give you a life of no regrets and a heart that has been ignited.

I can only confidently say this because these are the only stories from His saints, those whom did not choose their room. ❤️

#wisdom