Strong-willed or emotional has such a negative connotation. I know this because I can most relate to this type!

I’m going to speak mostly from first person because it seems more natural but remember, I have also been a parent of this type. (similar types often have the most difficulty in the early years but also teach you the most about yourself!)

Sooo… we strong-willed emotional types feel everything! (Not that other types don’t, they do!) However, it’s the way we manifest that emotion that is different.

For the strong-willed, emotion is like shaking up a glass bottle of soda pop that needs to be released. If we don’t, the fizz will make us angry, flat and dull, essentially lifeless and withdrawn, irritated and our “fizz” will continue to leak out in unhealthy ways.

We need to be able to express. We are most certainly exaggerators because we need to feel and desperately want others to allow us that. We need our emotions to be mirrored! Then we feel a huge release.

Great initial responses would be:

That really sucks!”,

“I can’t believe this is happening!”

“I’m so sorry!”

In the older years, trust us that we will make the best decisions for us and it’s not your responsibility to “fix” us.

Physical activity or a creative outlet, of any kind, is crucial to us.

Get us into sports, outside, dancing, or anything physical! This will help get us out of our emotions and get us grounded.

But most important, are the people that allow us to have our feelings/outbursts and accept/validate them without judgement.

*Being a “regulator” for this type is like heaven on earth!

Being calm when we need to release is crucial.

Allow us to cry, explain, sometimes, in great detail, what we are feeling, and then, if we don’t calm down, just “write the ticket” if necessary. Give the discipline!

We need discipline. We crave guidance and boundaries. We are all over the place and need to be centered. Don’t make the discipline too long! We need to be accepted back into interaction. We learn quickly, but it only needs to hurt for a sec. We need to know what’s acceptable, if we can’t control ourselves.

First, listen without judgement or reaction, stay calm, and a huge bonus would be showing us you have similar thoughts and feelings, be real, share your own struggles, but don’t let us walk all over you, because we will. We don’t know where the lines are.

Years ago, someone told me that this type needs to “stretch the rubber band” but it’s ok. This type will stay within that band, but need to feel around, push and test how far it can be stretched.

I feel kinda weird saying this, but these types are some of my favorite people!

They are most difficult to deal with as toddlers, but it gets better, I promise!

They may seem like followers but they are most certainly leaders and do become that, as they mature.

They know themselves and are extremely confident.

Unfortunately, the world often pushes them away because their emotions can be overwhelming to most people.

In short.

Let them feel and express.

Calmly set the boundary and stick to it.

When they’re older, explain why, quickly and don’t engage in debates.

It’s very difficult in the younger years to have a strong-willed/ emotional child but I promise you that they’ll teach you more patience than you ever wanted to know, you will feel more than you ever thought you needed or wanted to and someday you’ll be so thankful for who they have become and they will be one of the greatest joys in your life!

Press on!

You’ve got this!