Perceived or real.

Usually both.

Although, often perpetuated by an actual reality that is or was operating in your life.

You recognize it because you’ve experienced it and then you can’t help but continue to think and operate this way.

However, not everyone deserves this.

Not everyone should become a victim to your storyline/ habitual thinking or assumptions based on what you’ve experienced.

Yes…

Only you can know.

Only you can decide.

And you should, but consider my thoughts.

I spent too long being controlled by people, my impressions, assumptions and circumstances.

My own perceptions for one, that I thought operated across the board.

And secondly, my realities, that I wasn’t willing to stand up for.

I will have it no more.

It’s destroyed relationships and caused me a lot of pain, wasted energy, grief and frankly losing out on too many moments of life that were meant to be cherished.

So.

now.

I start from zero.

Yes, everyone should be judged according to their actions. But not according or connected to my past understandings and experiences.

-Disconnecting these for me has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever fought for and the most freeing thing I’ve ever experienced.

People deserve better.

I deserve better.

We all deserve a chance for a clean slate.

Because I clearly see now, how I change and grow every day, how I need and desire this gift of grace, how can I not also freely give it?

(And no, I’m not saying that you should ever stay in relationships where control is a dominating factor or where you yourself haven’t learned to disconnect your own assumptions which is unfortunately essentially another form of control)

But please, may we not let our past carry that into our future.

We need people.

We need relationships.

-and while no will ever satisfy that perfectly, search for the humble people, the people willing to grow and admit their faults and continue to do the same for yourself. Turn that mirror back on you. Even if for just a few moments.

The people that have gently taught me this have given me the greatest gift I’ve ever received.

“Love can cover a multitude of sins.”

So, I will find the places that grace is possible and necessary because I would want the same in return.